Merryagnes

I had a call with my doctor about my depression. She gave me a prescription and now I’m on it. I feel better already.

I’m in a quandary. I want to write but the writing isn’t flowing and I feel depressed as a result. Or is it the other way around? I am feeling low most mornings and I have to flee to my bed to escape the low feelings. I end up sleeping a lot. Then later onContinue reading

I am weak today. The depressing thoughts have me in their grip. I cannot do anything with my writing.

The day looks good outside. We are having no rain for the time being. It’s good to see my peonies bloom. They were in danger of being razed to the ground by workers who were under the supervision of a donor who offered to clear our garden. But other flowers might come to fruition. IContinue reading

I had a dream today that I was taking my stepmother out for a drive to the grocery store. She reminded me that she had a driver’s licence and asked me if she could drive. I said ok but in the dream I was still in the driver’s seat. But then the car went toContinue reading

I remember the time in my life when I accidentally stabbed myself with a knife. I was in high school then in Indianapolis. I was opening a jar of sweets and the jar’s lid was encased in a plastic thing and I couldn’t open it. So I used a knife – a steak knife –Continue reading

The day is good today. I was able to do some work on my new novel, The Bridge. It’s coming along well. I should be publishing it soon.

As I sit here at my desk, I’m plagued with thoughts that want me to do things, go somewhere online or make something on the stove.

I used to be happy in my life, but perhaps did not know it until after I’d gone through my years in college. I had my happiest times in High School, where I was with my group of friends who met every afternoon at the library to do homework. We’d do our work while chattingContinue reading

This weekend I suffered bad thoughts again. It was intolerable. But I survived. Last night was not that difficult a time. In the morning I had a bad dream of something like a big crash in the house somewhere. I had a terror-like feeling in my chest. I got out of bed and looked intoContinue reading