My job in this nursing home is to eat my meals and take my meds every day. I have to eat so that I can gain weight. I don’t have anything else to do. I sit in bed or sit in one of the chairs in the rotunda where the nurses’ station is.
Lately I’ve sat in the rotunda because I feel sad and the company distracts my attention. I’ve been feeling sad more often lately. I think it’s anxiety, but the sadness is still there even when they give me medicine to counter the anxiety. I might be depressed but my psychiatrist won’t change my medication until the increase in anti anxiety medication has been established.
So far the anti anxiety medication has not worked. I have a profound sadness that happens a few hours before my meals.
I try to drink orange juice to counter the sadness. It’s helped a little bit. I just can’t stand the emotion that I feel.
Merryagnes Blog 